Postpartum (After Baby Arrives)

Tips And Ideas To Make The Transition To Motherhood Smoother

The first days and weeks postpartum are a tender time. Even as you bathe in the afterglow of a wonderful birth all kinds of conflicting feelings can crop up. If the birth was not what you hoped for you have some strong emotions you will be working through. Physically you are recovering.

Take your time and don't feel that you have to "get back to normal".

Some tips to make the early days after birth easier and more enjoyable.

1) Hire a postpartum doula.

A doula or a friend or family member who is committed to helping you in the days and weeks after birth is absolutely awesome! My sister came to stay for 3 days after my daughter's birth and it was WONDERFUL. My sister cooked all the meals, did laundry, and ran errands for us. I didn't have to worry about anything.

If you hire a postpartum doula she will usually be able to prepare some easy meals for your family, do light cleaning and tidying, do laundry, and watch older children while you spend time with the new baby. She can also care for the baby while you nap or shower, and may also be able to provide you with some breastfeeding help should you need it.

If you are unable to afford a postpartum doula's services--ask for it as a baby shower gift instead of the traditional baby gear.

2) Have someone who will provide emotional support for you other than your husband.

You need to tell your birth story. You may need a shoulder to cry on. You will have intense and sometimes conflicting emotions after giving birth and a listening ear is a very welcome thing.

You are in a very tender and vulnerable place after giving birth, your body is now empty after having been extremely full, your hormones have fallen drastically since the birth of the placenta, and you have done a lot of physical and emotional work to bring this baby into the world.

The first few weeks immediately postpartum can be bewildering. The depth and intensity of your emotions can be scary. A friend who is a strong emotional support can be an anchor in a stormy sea.

3) Post your local La Leche League Leader's number and/or a lactation consultant's contact information near the phone for breastfeeding help.

Don't hesitate to call them if you are having ANY trouble with breastfeeding no matter how small or large a problem you think it is.

It is better to get help and support sooner rather than later.

4) Prepare food in advance of the birth.

Prepare frozen food that can just be taken out of the freezer and heated up. You can also set up a phone tree of friends, neighbors, and family that can bring you food every evening (without staying to visit) for 2-4 weeks after the baby is born.

Have on hand lots of yummy healthy snack food that can be eaten easily with one hand. Fresh fruits and veggies, snack bars, sandwich fixings, 100% pure juice if you like it, and lots of fresh water. Nursing moms are famous for their unquenchable thirst while nursing.

Drinking straws also come in handy. It might seem funny to drink from a straw--it did to me--always makes me feel like a kid. But, I had a friend who recommended it. She felt it helped her to drink more fluids postpartum than she would have without a straw. So I tried it and she was right!

5) Eat a nutritious postpartum diet.

A healthy diet will help you to feel your best. It will give you the nutrients your body needs to recover from pregnancy and birth. It will help build your milk supply, and ensure that you make nutritious milk for your baby.

6) Have a qualified therapist lined up in case of postpartum depression or simply to address with you the monumental life changes that motherhood brings.

If you have a history of depression or are at risk for postpartum depression and you want to treat it naturally, see psychotherapist Ben Schwarcz's website. It's all about alternative depression therapies such as Emotional Freedom Techniques, light therapy, and meditation. There is a wealth of information here if you are serious about treating depression without drugs.

7) Allow yourself at least 8 weeks before trying to lose any weight.

Allow your body time to adjust.

Don't berate yourself for not fitting into your favorite pre-pregnancy jeans or for not looking the same as you did before pregnancy. Some women do--many more do not. Some women don't lose all of their pregnancy weight until they stop nursing.

8)Exercise is very important for both mind and body.

Even if you are not trying to lose weight, exercise is an extremely effective mood booster. Do some gentle exercise like walking or easy yoga as soon as you feel up to it. It is especially easy to go for walks with baby if you have a good baby sling or baby carrier.

If you can, get outside--the fresh air is good for both you and your baby.

Another way to get some fresh air and get back into shape is to try running or jogging. Check out this site by a running mom for some tips on getting started running with your baby.

9) Expect to encounter some emotional challenges postpartum.

With the birth of the placenta your hormones plummet from extremely high pregnancy levels to almost zero. So, it is understandable that you might not be calm while your body adapts to these changes.

Your whole life is being rearranged around the new baby and it can be disconcerting and upsetting even if you were planning for it.

There were moments when I felt overwhelmed (and I still do). I was overwhelmed with the responsibility of this tiny new life and overwhelmed with the fierceness of my love for her.

I was sad that I was no longer pregnant. I was tired. I was excited about my birth experience and proud of having my baby at home.

My life now centered around this tiny little being and not everyone else's life did. I loathed the thought of leaving her and going back to work. I worried about finances.

So, in the midst of this tidal wave of emotions, eat well, sleep well (as much as you can!) and do gentle exercise. It is important to take care of yourself. It can be extremely easy to neglect caring for yourself because you are so focused on the baby.

Remember--baby is getting all her nourishment from you. If you are not taking care of yourself and getting the love and nourishment you need both physically and emotionally, it is very difficult to give your best to your baby.

It is okay to treat yourself with kid gloves during this emotionally fragile time.

10) Expect relationship challenges and changes.

Be prepared for a HUGE drop in libido while you are breastfeeding. But, amazingly your husband's sex drive stays the same! This can make for some rocky waters that have to be negotiated.

Understand that you will argue about anything and everything with your husband or partner for awhile.

You will slowly find your way back to each other if you work at it and make your relationship a priority.

Your relationship to everyone else in your life is different as well. You see through new eyes as a mother.

I began to understand the challenges that other mothers faced. I wanted to congratulate them all for all their hard work and give every mother I saw a big hug. Now I was starting to understand the incredible work that they were doing in raising children.

I began to have less in common with my friends who didn't have children, and I began to make more and more new friends that did have children.

I knew things would be different before I had my baby, but you just can't prepare yourself for the reality of it.

11) Hire a massage therapist who does out-calls and who will come to your home.

If not a massage therapist, than a friend who is willing to rub your shoulders. You will need it.

I had a massage therapist friend gift me with a massage at two weeks postpartum. For part of the massage my baby lay on the table with me and nursed. It was wonderful for my tired back, neck, and shoulders! Drop me a line for more information about in-home post partum massage in the Holland, MI area.

Take Time For Yourself!

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