The Birth of Sabine Adora--Part Two

I'm Ready to Be Done!

The midwife arrived at 8:45 am just as I was starting to vocalize during surges (Hypnobirthing term for contractions) and the slow breathing seemed to be helping less. I was all ready to have the baby within the hour!

I sent Jeremy to the store to get labor food. We had planned to do this before the birth, but we were caught by surprise! The midwife told him not to go far or take too long. I thought,"Yes! She thinks the baby will come soon! This is getting tougher than I thought."

I watched the sun come up as I labored in the pool and watched people walking by outside on the sidewalk. That reminded me of how normal and ordinary my birth was. Life outside continued on while I gave birth to my baby. It was so cool!

At one point in between contractions I said, "This is really cool that I'm having this baby here at home" knowing that most women (for numerous reasons) don't have that opportunity. It was so normal--an everyday miracle.

Contractions just kept getting harder and harder and I was wanting to start the pushing part and be done, but it just kept going (like a FREIGHT TRAIN).

Finally I asked the midwife to check me even though she thought I was in transition and just about fully opened. She suggested I tried checking myself since I originally didn't want any vaginal exams. I tried, but couldn't tell what I was feeling other than mushy cervix. She said that I was just about all the way opened with a little bit of cervix still in the front. She suggested that I might want to go in the bedroom and lie on my side for awhile and that might help me to completely open.

Up to this point I had felt most comfortable in the pool, standing against Jeremy, on all fours, kneeling wide, and squatting. I had thought it couldn't get any worse, but lying on my side was WORSE! It was EXCRUCIATING! For about a half hour I laid on my left side with Jeremy next to me holding my hand. It was all I could do to just ride the waves. I kept tensing up trying to get away from the pain. The midwife reminded me to relax my pelvis and lower back.

From my Journal: "I was at the end of what I thought I had. Nothing I could do--moan, yell, move, breathe, focus was helping me feel better. I kept saying, 'I want to be done now', 'Why do people do this?' "Why am I doing this?' I had not expected it to be that long or so painful."

After getting up from the bed I sat on the toilet and was very frustrated because I felt like I had to poop, but I couldn't (and I really did have to poop it wasn't just baby's head making me feel that way). I was trying to tell my husband that I was upset because I couldn't poop and I had to. Somehow I didn't get the message across. Clear communication became harder and harder as labor progressed. He thought that I was just embarrassed and didn't want to. So he told me "Just go ahead--it's okay." This made me frustrated that he didn't understand that,

NO I COULDN'T JUST GO AHEAD AND POOP!

So I gave up.

Emergence

Shortly after leaving the toilet, my body started involuntarily pushing.

Throwing down I call it. Its like you're throwing up just in the opposite direction. It was SO out of my control. I had to hang on to Jeremy if I was standing as the force was so strong I felt like I would have fallen over.

Then I squatted again for awhile and then got back in the pool. I pushed with my body. I reached in and could feel her head. I had Jeremy feel her head too. Knowing that she was right there helped me to get really focused. I moved her down little by little. I kept my hand on her head the entire time. As she crowned I felt the intense burning/stretching sensation that is often described as the "ring of fire". I always hear the Johnny Cash song when I hear that phrase! "...And it burns burns burns the ring of fire, the ring of fire..."

I was determined to go slowly even though my body was overwhelmingly pushing. I talked to myself, "Slow...Slow...let yourself stretch." I started doing the Hypnobirthing Birth Breath which means I was just breathing the baby out.

From my journal:"It was amazing to feel her move through and out of me as she parted my vaginal lips and moved out into the world. With utter joy I pulled her out of the water and up to my breast. She was crying with her eyes all scrunched up, very upset."

She had the cord loosely around her neck and I just reached through and looped it off. No question, no hesitation. I just knew what to do. The midwife told me to hold baby away from me to let the mucous drain from her mouth for a few seconds and then she was right up on my chest. All I could say to my baby was,"Oh don't cry, don't cry Baby. It's okay." Soon after I looked to see her sex and I said, "Jeremy we have a girl!"

I got out of the pool and the two of us sat together on the couch and admired our new little one. She tried latching on to my breast right away. Jeremy held her while I pushed out the placenta about 15-20 minutes after the birth. The placenta was beautiful and healthy. Jeremy tied and cut the cord after the placenta came and now my little girl was completely separate from me.

Sabine Adora Wilkins-Berghorst was born on March 15, 2008 at 1:45pm after about 12 hours of active labor. She weighed 7 lbs 10 oz and was 20 inches long.

After the Birth

I had no tearing and my perineum felt great just maybe a bit sore. My belly felt very empty and my ab muscles were sore. I got out of breath when I walked to the bathroom. I think it had to do with my diaphragm and internal organs rearranging themselves. I felt great even though I was tired from being up all night.

My primary midwife arrived a few hours after the birth and checked baby's heartbeat and weighed and measured her. Then she made us breakfast in bed! The midwives cleaned up everything and did laundry while Jeremy emptied the pool into the front yard.

The attending midwife never even touched Sabine while she was there!She took heart tones three of four times during labor and took pictures for us.

Other than the little bit of encouragement I received from her a few times, and a little bit of gentle massage on my lower back, she just waited in the background. I followed my own rhythms and wasn't directed in any way.

I was a bit stunned that my birth process was so much work and harder and longer than I had hoped it would be even though it was very straight forward.

I really did feel proud of myself I was like,"I just pushed a baby out of me all by myself. I was calm, at peace. I OWNED my experience. I was never afraid. I trusted my body absolutely. My labor and birth was just part of my life no hype, no hullabaloo, no commotion, no anxiety on my part or others.

From my journal:"So as I sit here holding my beautifully strong and amazing baby girl I am absolutely in awe. In awe of her, of myself, of the whole process of bringing forth life."

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